Perfectionism gets in the way of our happiness and stunts progress. It can breed fear and anxiety which holds us back and keeps us in our current state of creature comfort. We have to be okay with our imperfections to work through them and make progress.
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As pianists, we should share our music and play for others while we’re still learning, not just when we’ve perfected a piece…because we never really perfect a piece. Just like in life, who really is perfect at anything – parenting, business, relationships – none of us. Yet when we care and desire to be a good parent, partner, teacher, listener, etc., then those feelings shape our decisions and actions through the course of each day, reinforcing good habits and behaviors over time. We don’t wait till we’re perfect to try our best and to do a good job with the capacity and tools that we have at each given moment.
Becoming perfect shouldn’t be our focus when we go to practice our instrument or work towards a goal in life. Striving for perfection leads to stress, self-judgement, and ultimately deters us from continuing to practice and improve. Like chasing the end of a rainbow, we will never be perfect in our own eyes, so this mindset is detrimental rather than helpful. Instead, we have to believe in and feel the benefits of practicing – the happiness, meaning and inspiration we get from playing. Those rewards don’t show up only when we’ve mastered and perfected a piece, but rather they are there from the very start, while we are in the process of practicing and learning.
The more we desire to play and practice, the more we become the goal itself: being a pianist, or musician. In other words, it’s the process, not the outcome, that should be the focus. When I play piano, I am a pianist. It’s a positive feedback loop: I am motivated to play because I see the joy and value in the process itself, and the more I play, the more I believe that I am a pianist. That belief reinforces the habits needed to improve – discipline, focus, emotional connection, and so on.
It also helps to identify why we have set our goal in the first place. In this example, why are we learning the piano? For most people, the answer is not to become a professional concert pianist, performing in sold-out concert halls. Rather it is because we wish to play songs or pieces that have special meaning to us, that remind us of someone we love or of a happy time in our life. We want to better ourselves and develop a skill that will benefit ourself and others. These things give us joy, passion and meaning, which are what we ultimately seek.
Sharing our music while it is still a work in progress, and not waiting until it is perfect, frees us up to share more music, more often, and inspires our audience. They’re reminded that it’s not the perfection of a performance that matters most, it is the expression and passion that we put into it. That is the human connection that we all have. A robot or AI can be programmed to play without a mistake, but where is the soul and depth and meaning and connection in that? What moves us is the expression of the human spirit, with all of its imperfections, because that is what is real and true.
Meaning and purpose are born out of mistakes, struggle, messiness, and vulnerability. These imperfections are what inspire us to continually move forward and improve, and search for meaning. So learning the piano, or whatever your goal may be, is not about being perfect or the best, it is about self-improvement, realizing your potential, connecting with what you’re passionate about and inspiring others to do the same.